Gaze versus Glare

GAZE vs GLARE 👀

A Psychodrama Encounter — Knowing Thyself

Sometimes social anxiety looks like fawning.

I keep you comfortable
so I can feel safe.

But keeping you safe
doesn’t necessarily mean
we are connected.

Then came the surprise.

When our eyes truly met,
I wanted to disappear.

The closer you came to seeing the real me,
the scarier it became.

My legs shook.
My body became ungrounded.
I tried harder to be “someone”
instead of simply being myself.

And what I thought was a glare
might actually have been a gaze—
someone noticing, wondering, perhaps even wanting to connect.

So I stopped assuming.

I asked permission.
You opened up.
I stayed present.
You shared your vulnerability.
I shared mine.

And the conversation became real.

Psychodrama reminded me:

Ground before fawning.
Ask before assuming.
Be curious before interpreting.
Stay present instead of performing.

Maybe knowing thyself is not about becoming fearless.

It is noticing my shaking legs,
meeting your gaze,
and discovering—

I don’t have to disappear
to stay connected.

GAZE, not GLARE.

See. Be seen. Stay present.

Carolyn Lim
31st August 2026